I have been neglecting my little space on the internet lately. Sorry bout that. I just haven't had much to blog about.
Well, I've had a lot that I
could blog about... I just don't think most of it would be of interest to anyone that has a sane mind.
Lucky for you,
Kodak and JuiceBoxJungle are
throwing some cash my way sponsoring me to write this post about the top and bottom three things I worry about as a mother. So not only do you get to read about my awesome life, but you can also follow that handy link there and save some cash on ink. It's a win win.
I've mentioned before that I'm a worrywart. I stress over everything, big or small. I obsess over what could go wrong at any given time and try and make sure I have a plan already formed as to how to handle damage control at the drop of a hat. I'm not talking just as a mother, I worry in general about everything.
I would say that on my things to lose sleep over, providing for my kids is reigning supreme in the numero uno slot. I think this is true for most mothers. We all want to make sure our kids are happy, healthy, and on track developmentally. Aside from the normal worries of making sure the bills are paid and there is plenty of food in the house, I have a marquee that constantly runs through my brain flashing one question after another.
Is Ella eating enough? (She's so picky that it's hard to get her to eat anything. The kid lives on peanut butter.)
Should I be concerned that Brookelyn still gets her numbers mixed up? (2, 1, 3 Go!)
What's that spot on Ella's cheek? Oh Lord please don't let it be MRSA again. Oh wait, it's ketchup. Whew!
Mental Note: Make well-visit appointments.
Did Brookelyn brush her teeth yet this morning?
How am I ever gonna get Ella to stop sucking on that finger?
Brookelyn's shoes are lookin a little tight. Add new shoes to the list.
I'm sure you get the point.
I would say that my next item on the worry list is making sure the kids are adjusting well to no longer having their father around on a full-time basis.
It's been nine months now since the separation. Ella seems to be handling everything just fine. She's young enough that I don't think she can remember her daddy ever living with us. This is the normal for her. Plus, she's not a real people person. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only human she likes. And sometimes she likes Brookelyn.
But Sissy, she is a daddy's girl. She misses him and asks all the time if Daddy can come stay with her. When he does come visit, she cries when it's time for him to go. She tells me at least once a day, "Momma, I wuv my daddy."
I know that I made the right decision. I know that in the long run, this is what's best for my children. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch my child cry. I worry daily about the long term effect this might have on her. And I fear that she will hold it against me when she is older.
And thirdly, I worry about whether I am spending enough time with them. I am with them pretty much 24/7. But I mean quality time. Time reading, time teaching, time playing. Just time in general with just me and my kids. No tv, no computer, no texting. Just me and my kids. I got sucked into the internet pretty heavily there for a minute. But I have been making sure that I spend a least one every day with just them.
Three things I don't worry about?
This one might surprise you. I don't worry about college funds. I'm just getting by as it is and there is no way that I could tuck money back on a regular basis for something that is 17 years down the road. It's not exactly my dream situation, but it's the one I'm in. So why worry about it? I don't. I know that when the time comes I will figure something out because I always do. So I will worry about it then.
I don't worry about housework. Well I do, but I don't obsess over it. I used to. Before I had kids, my house was always clean. A place for everything and everything in it's place. But now I have a 3 year old and a soon to be 2 year old that have lots of stuff. I can spend hours cleaning and they can destroy it in 10 minutes flat. So now I take the theory that if I get to it I do, and if not, I'll catch it tomorrow. I do basic cleaning.. toilets, dishes, vacuuming. But as far as everything being put up after use and waking up to a nice neat home... it's just not gonna happen. And I'm okay with that now.
And I don't worry about everybody else. Up until the last few months, I had a big problem with trying to please everyone. I had a hard time saying no. If someone asked me to be somewhere or go somewhere or do something for them, I would bend over backwards trying to make it happen. This caused my kids to spend a lot of time in their carseats, going from one place to another. We would sometimes leave very early, and not arrive home until very late. Toys went unplayed with. Chores went undone. I would cancel my own appointments in order to make it to someone else's. When the weather started to turn cold, I realized that I just cannot do that anymore. I have two children now, and no spouse to sit with them. It isn't fair to my kids to agree to leave home at 7 am to do something for someone else. Not when there are alternate arrangements that can be made. So I learned to turn things over to other people. I don't
have to be at every appointment my grandparents have. I still attend the big ones. But now I delegate the routine appointments to other people who do not have small kids that would have to tag along.
Wow, are your eyeballs bleeding yet? That was a heck of a long post. Good thing I'm getting paid for it, huh? Hehe.
So what are your parenting worry/worry-nots? You can leave me a comment and tell me what you worry the most about, or what you choose not to worry about at all. Or you can take the fun survey up in the JuiceBox widget, and head over to
Kodak and check out their prices. Or not, I get paid either way!
